In a recent conversation with Kavar we started talking about gifts and talents, and I made the comment that I feel like I have gifts but that they tend to be quiet gifts that sometimes leave me feeling like I don’t really do much of importance. Although I don’t remember the exact wording of his reply, the take home point for me was “The trick is to know your gifts and value them for what they are”. It might not seem like a profound statement, but it smacked in the face in a good way, in a “wake up and smell the coffee already” kind of way.

The people who care about me care about me because of who I am, and I don’t think I’m in the minority when I say that there are people I’ve met through SL who know me better than just about anyone else anywhere. They know me, and they like me! And I trust their judgment, so I must be a valuable person even in those moments when I feel the most worthless. Worded that way, it’s harder for me to discount what I have to offer. Amazing how a little twist in perception can change everything.

We can say something so many times that it becomes our reality. “I can’t build.” “The clothes I try to make aren’t good enough.” “My store will never be much.” “Sure, I can make this kind of item, but if I can make that, then anyone can, so it’s nothing special.” Without even realizing it, our words can create barriers that we treat as reality, and they keep us from shining. They block us from seeing the possibilities around us, and they diminish our ability to achieve what we say we want.

I can struggle to create something and all along the way belittle every effort and just throw up my hands and say it’s because I have no talent. Or I can treat the struggle as an opportunity to learn and grow and then maybe even end up with a product that I can appreciate. A change in attitude certainly makes it all more enjoyable, and it’s also perfectly acceptable to just walk away if we discover the activity or the situation or whatever isn’t worth the effort any more. That doesn’t make any of us a failure, but it does make each of us someone who understands the value of time and wants to spend it in meaningful ways.

I don’t think of myself as a competitive person, but I do think there’s a certain culture of competition that focuses so intently on mistakes and criticism that we stifle our true voices. We fear making mistakes in front of people we admire, and we sometimes criticize ourselves in a laughing matter just to lessen the blow of the criticism we expect from others that may or may not ever come. What could we accomplish if we simply ran with what we have without the barriers we speak into existence? Isn’t that what SL excels at?

I collect quotations and various little anecdotes in notebooks, and I’ve done that for years. One of my favorites is attributed to Igor Stravinsky. A violinist approached him with concerns that a particular passage in his composition The Rite of Spring was practically impossible to perform. Stravinsky responded, “I don’t want the sound of someone playing the passage. I want the sound of someone trying to play it!” I’m thankful for all of you who encourage me to keep trying and to appreciate all my efforts as part of my journey of getting to know me, and I hope I can be the same kind of support for you. We’re all in this together.

In case anyone is curious, the title of this post comes from the song Shine by Cyndi Lauper. It’s one of my favorite songs ever, and I first heard it on the TV show Queer as Folk thanks to Kavar. And yes, it was the inspiration for the name of my SL business if you were wondering.